Terrible threes?

So we had the terrible twos, the stage I have found most difficult so far in the parenting of Jamie, between about 2 years 3 months and 2 years 9 months. But for the 3 months or so approaching his third birthday, we seemed to enter calmer waters, he was altogether much more pleasant, better at communicating his needs, and I felt we were getting on really well.

However, things are beginning to change and it looks as though all that pleasantness was the calm before the storm, lulling me into a false sense of security that it would be plain sailing from here on in. (OK, I think that's enough nautical analogies for one blog post!)

He's become a lot more difficult recently. He's started pinching me and doing a really high-pitched scream whenever he's told "no" or something is taken off him. If he can't reach me to pinch, he'll look for Daisy and try to hit her. He'll also do things to be deliberately naughty - slamming doors, throwing things, messing about with the phone, etc. I'm trying to be consistent with him, and any of that behaviour results in "time out" in his room. I gave up on the naughty step a long time ago - he would just not stay put on it, and I had to stand over him to stop him from running off - which just gave him attention and he thought it was all hilariously funny. So he gets put in his room, giving us both space to cool down. I also try really hard not to shout, because that just sets him off even more. I find being relentlessly calm and lowering my voice works better - although in the heat of the moment I often do shout.

I still think a lot of it comes down to attention, and my crapness at giving him the quality attention he needs. I said a few posts back that I was going to try and spend more time doing things he likes, instead of relying on Cbeebies to keep him busy, and I have done that to some extent. I do get the paint, glue, glitter etc, out whenever he asks (which is nearly every day) and try not to stress about the mess that he creates. I have tried to sit with him when he's watching TV. I have tried to encourage him to help with cooking and washing up, instead of seeing it as an annoyance. But I know I could do more, and it's when I'm busy on the laptop or my phone that he often starts playing up - to get my attention. When he's occupied and doing something he enjoys, he's still my lovely, sweet little boy.