Things I love June 11

It's been a while since I last did this, so here are some of the things I love at the moment...

- Watching Daisy walk - she's like a little zombie with her arms stretched out in front of her as she totters along, huge grin on her face and looking so pleased with herself

- Picking her up after a nap when she's still sleepy and really cuddly

- Passing strangers in the street and hearing them say, "oh, isn't she cute..." as we walk by

- Her little voice saying "oh dear" and "ball" - these two are definitely said in context

- Picking Jamie up from playgroup - he runs at me and gives me a huge hug, really squeezes me tight

- When he spontaneously gives her a hug or kiss...sometimes when we're out walking, he'll make me stop, says "Daisy needs a kiss" and then goes to give her one...so cute!!

- He always gives her some of whatever snack I've given him - I love to see him thinking of her and sharing with her...makes me think that giving him a sibling has had lots of benefits, despite the resulting reduction in attention/one-to-one time

Room sharing experiment

Daisy's sleeping has showed no signs of improving lately, in fact it seems to be getting worse. She's been waking 4-5 times a night and has needed a feed each time to get her to resettle. We've had a couple of half-hearted attempts at controlled crying, but it just doesn't seem to work as she knows we're there in the room with her. So on Friday night, we decided to try putting her in with Jamie. I was very apprehensive about the whole thing, as he is such a good sleeper and I didn't want to mess that up, but I decided to go with it, as I knew we could always move her back again if it didn't work. And really, it couldn't get much worse than it already was!

So we moved her cot and explained to Jamie what was happening, read them both a story, gave Daisy her final feed and left them to it. On the first night, it took them ages to settle and go to sleep as Jamie kept getting out of bed and running to Daisy's cot, but once they were asleep, Daisy only woke once, at around 2.30am. This pattern has continued and I'm cautiously optimistic that this new arrangement seems to be working. We've learned that the best way of putting them to bed is to read them a story, say goodnight to Jamie, take Daisy out into our bedroom for a feed and then bring her back to Jamie's room, fingers crossed that he's gone to sleep. I also had a chat with him about staying in his bed if Daisy wakes him up crying in the night, and for the last few nights he's barely stirred when she's woken up. She is mainly now only waking up once, which is a huge improvement. We've has several early mornings though, as once one of them stirs, the other wakes up and then that's it - no chance of either going back to sleep. But at least I'm now getting some long stretches of sleep, instead of the very broken nights I was having.

PeeeeeeeeeeBeeeeeeeeee!

Since I started running, I've wanted to achieve the goal of being able to run 5Km in 30 minutes. The first time I did 5K, it took me over 38 minutes; that time has gradually come down, until today when I did it in 29 minutes and 58 seconds!! I was so happy when I saw my time, I almost cried (/saddo). I wasn't sure I'd ever get there, as my progress seemed to have slowed - but this was over a minute off my previous PB. The interval training I'm doing really seems to be improving my speed.

My endurance is also improving - yesterday I ran from our house in Cheltenham to Wayne's mum's in Tewkesbury - a distance of 7.64 miles, in absolutely pouring rain! It's amazing to me that I can now run that distance - a journey I would normally do in a car. I did get a few strange looks from motorists in their nice, warm, dry cars - probably thought I was mad. I have to say though, I'd rather have cold, wet weather than hot and sunny for running.

So my next goal is to do 10K in 60 minutes, but I think that's way off yet. There's no way I could maintain my 5K pace for twice the distance at the moment. I'm doing the Race for Life 10K in just over 2 weeks and I hope to do it in about 1 hour and 6 minutes.

Three years, two weeks, five days...

...that's how old Jamie is today. Why is that significant? Well, it's not really. But then again, it is, because he'll never be three years, two weeks and five days old again. Ever. He's in bed now and for him, today is done.

I've got an attack of the mummy guilts tonight. Now that I'm a stay at home mum, this is my job, and I'm definitely a case of "could do better" at the moment. Jamie was at playgroup this morning and I stayed with him to help out (all the parents have to take turns to do this), so when we got home and I'd cooked lunch and cleared up, I just wanted to sit and surf the net, have a cup of tea, continue my search for new jeans (have decided that, despite trying to be careful with money, I really NEED new jeans)...basically, just chill out and have a bit of me time. But of course Jamie wanted my attention, he wanted to do painting, he wanted to go in the garden and see the chickens...and all I wanted was for him to sit and watch Cbeebies quietly for a while. Yes, despite the fact that I've written on here before about my worries over how much TV he watches, I wanted him to watch more!

And now I feel really bad that I didn't get the paints out, didn't let him run riot in the garden, basically, didn't really spend any quality time with him. I know I'm not a bad mother, not really. We go out places every day, we do lots of different activities, we see friends. The very fact that I'm writing this means I'm reflecting on my parenting and that can't make me a bad mum. But I could do more, and I SHOULD do more. This is his life, and I want to fill it with as many happy memories as I can, of time spent having fun with me, of feeling valued and listened to.

So I'm going to try and do better, because as I said at the start, he'll never be this age again. Time with him is so precious, and it's flying by so quickly. Before too long he'll be at school and my time with him will be limited...someone else will see more of him than me during the day. I have a feeling that when I'm old, THIS time right now is what I'll remember as being the best of my life.

So from tomorrow, jeans can wait, facebook can wait, and I'm going to try harder to be a better mummy to him, to really savour every moment with him, to do fun things, things he wants to do. Even if that means picking up coloured pens off the floor zillions of times, wiping paint off the kitchen table and going out for a walk to cross roads.

Here are a few resolutions:

- I'm going to make sure he always has access to pens, paper, scissors and other arts and crafts stuff. I'll put it all out on the table each day and leave it there so it's available to him if he wants to use it - and not worry too much about the mess. He loves drawing, painting, cutting and sticking, and he's also really into letters and numbers, so I need to encourage that.

- If he wants to go out for a walk that basically involves crossing as many roads as possible so he can press the button and see the green man, then that's what we'll do. It doesn't matter if we don't actually go anywhere, we'll still be out in the fresh air (well, as fresh as it gets by main roads!), getting some exercise, and he'll be enjoying himself

- If he's watching TV, I'm going to try and sit and watch it with him, so I can talk to him about what he's watching, instead of using it as an opportunity to have a cup of tea in peace.

- I need to actively encourage him to help me with the cooking and washing up. He loves doing it, and it's a life skill. Yes, it makes it all take twice as long, but who cares really?

- When we read his bedtime story, I'm going to encourage him to read more than one book, and to choose different books. At the moment we always seem to read the same ones, and at that time of day I'm often keen to get him down for the night so I can start my evening. But I know how important reading is, especially for boys, and I want to nurture a love of books in him, as I really think that will stand him in good stead, educationally speaking.

The main thing though, is to keep at the front of my mind that he will NEVER have this day again, and nor will I. So we need to make the most of every second of it.

She's walking!

In my last post, I said that Daisy was doing a couple of steps independently - well now it's more like 5 or 6, so I think I can confidently say that she's walking.

Jamie went from walking with his walker, to walking properly, in the space of about a week at age 15 months. Daisy on the other hand, has been walking with the walker since she was about 9 months, but is only now daring to let go and take steps on her own. She looks so pleased with herself as she totters around, and I think she's had a light bulb moment where she's realised it's going to be quicker to walk than to crawl.

She's been quite a handful with her crawling and climbing for a while now - heading up stairs and climbing onto toy boxes, etc. so I don't think this new stage is going to be too much of a shock. What I am finding difficult, is taking them outside and letting them both run free - I need eyes in the back of my head to keep watch on them both. Last week, we went to a family fun day in Pittville Park, where there were lots of bouncy castles, slides and ball pools, and also LOADS of people. Jamie of course wanted to run around the various activities, but Daisy also wanted to be put down to crawl around. I had a heart-stopping moment at one point, where I took my eye off Jamie for a moment to check on Daisy, and when I looked back, he'd gone! Luckily I was with friends and they quickly spotted that he was playing on a slide not too far away. But it was terrifying for those few seconds. I can see there are going to be lots more moments like that in the future now that I have a little toddler.

Daisy, aged 1

So my little flower has turned 1, and is slowly but surely leaving her babyhood behind. She is almost walking now, and just this week has done a couple of steps independently. Most of the time, she crawls (at lightning speed), or sort of scoots on her bum, pulling herself along with one arm - quite comical to watch. I don't think it'll be long until she's toddling though.

She loves to play with Jamie's toys, in fact I think she'll get more use out of them than he has. She loves his garage, and quickly figured out how to line the cars up to go down the ramp. She still likes walking around with the baby walker or the new pushchair and dolly that she got for her birthday. She also makes a beeline for inappropriate objects - my phone, hot cups of tea, potties full of wee, and is showing signs of throwing toddler strops if things she wants are taken away from her.

Her sleeping is still not great, in fact she's waking probably 3-4 times every night for a feed. I'm not sure what to do about it, and have sort of got used to it. I think the only thing that will solve it is going into a room of her own - but that's not going to happen until we move house, so for now we'll just keep going as we are. Eating-wise she's doing really well and will try most things. She can feed herself finger foods easily, and I'm still giving her mashed stuff as well, partly in the hope that filling her up will make her sleep better. She's still breastfed, just having morning, evening and (multiple!) night feeds. I'm not planning to stop until she wants to, and she shows no signs of that at the moment.

She's just such a happy little thing. She only cries when tired or hungry, and most of the time is full of smiles. She went through a stage of crying at unfamiliar people, but she seems to be past that now and instead will flash a wide grin at anyone who looks her way. She can clap and wave, and if you stick your tongue out at her, she'll poke hers out back at you. She also seems to have a few words - which amazes me. She says "oh dear" if anything falls on the floor, and will also copy "apple" and "out".

She's a real mummy's girl and often only wants me. When she's tired she'll crawl into my lap, lie her head on my shoulder and suck her thumb, which just melts me on the inside. She's so pretty, with the most beautiful eyes and strawberry blonde hair. I still almost burst with pride every day that she's mine.

Jamie, aged 3

So my little man has turned 3, and more than ever it's clear not only that he isn't a baby anymore, but he isn't a toddler either. What is he then? Preschooler I suppose. Whatever you call it, he's going through a lovely stage at the moment.

I admit to finding him pretty difficult at times between the ages of 2 years 3 months and 2 years 8 months. There were many moments of public shame and private tearing my hair out! But since then, he seems to have matured a little, he can communicate his needs a lot better, and he has been lovely and sunny and (mainly) not too badly behaved. I think going to preschool might have helped, as it's taught him a bit about following rules. He's also blossomed socially and loves to play with other children. He seems a lot less shy and clingy than he did. Even his eating has improved - last week on holiday, he even ate veggie chilli - not just a taste but a whole bowl. This would have been unheard of a couple of months ago.

I still don't let him walk by the road without him being tethered to me via the backpack reins, as he still has a tendency to run off. But I am starting to trust him a little bit more and when we're in a fairly safe place, I will let him go. He still absolutely loves pressing the button to see the green man...in fact it's become something of an obsession. We no longer go out for walks to the park or to feed the ducks - we go to cross roads!

He still likes Cbeebies, but not as much as he did a few months ago. His favourite programmes are Something Special, Gigglebiz, Show Me Show Me, Big Cook Little Cook, and Mr. Bloom. Now though, he'd rather help with cooking or washing up (which often results in a flooded kitchen!) He will sit at the table for up to an hour cutting, sticking, drawing and painting, which is lovely to watch. I try not to interfere too much or direct him to draw a certain thing - I just let him get on with it and then clear up the mess afterwards!

His speech is really good - he can hold proper conversations and comes out with the funniest things. His most overused phrases at the moment are, "what's that?" and "what you doing mummy?" - uttered hundreds of times a day! He's really into letters and numbers, and can recognise a lot of the alphabet and most of numbers 0-9. He's also getting good at doing jigsaw puzzles.

He's such a loving little boy. Daisy is always getting cuddles and kisses from him and so are we. He's very gentle with other kids and so far I haven't had to deal with any hitting, pinching, etc aimed at other children. He's transformed from a baby to a little boy in the past year, a boy with very definite likes and dislikes, who knows exactly what he wants and how to get it. I can't believe that in a year from now he'll be getting ready to go to school.

So yes, that's Jamie at 3. A blond haired, blue eyed bundle of energy with a huge zest for life and a cheeky grin, who can turn me to mush with a "love you mummy", and who infuriates me and makes me indescribably proud every single day.